Chances
by entre-lagrimas-y-suspiros
Summary: Minerva/Hermione: How do you redefine something that never really had a name?


Title: Chances

Fandom/Pairing: HP, Minerva/Hermione

Rating: PG

Theme: How do you redefine something that never really had a name?

An: This is a itty-bitty piece, but I hope you all enjoy regardless. -xio

[]

Once I admired her, like the whole of Britain did.

She is the most powerful witch alive today. There is no question to this. There can't be, since two-thirds of the witches and wizards have passed through her classroom, have seen it with their own eyes.

I was there too, I saw it too, but my progress through Hogwarts was not as smooth as previous generations. I was preoccupied with Harry, and life and death.

Perhaps that is why I didn't see it until I came back to Hogwarts to finish my seventh year. Until she was Headmistress and I was at least two years older than any of my classmates. Then it was almost too easy to see her in a new light. Professor McGonagall hadn't change one bit, but I had.

Four years of waiting for the next disaster to behalf us, two years of never knowing when a death-eater might show up, and one year of outright war could do that to a person. I had grown up more in the last three years than most students do at Hogwarts. I was only twenty but I left at least a decade older. I didn't fit in with the rest of the seventh years.

I suppose that's why I sought her out at first. I felt alone, and I couldn't stand it. I didn't make up reasons to see her. The thought of lying never crossed my mind.

She seemed to appreciate my honesty and allowed me to invade her private rooms whenever things got to be too much for me. I read ahead for classes in an armchair while she tried to finish her correspondence. Sometimes she would join me in my silent reading, other times she would invite me to play chess, every once in a while, always when I was too distressed to hide it, she would insist that we have tea and chat for hours.

I was always comfortable with her. I found her engaging, charming, and curiously…funny.

When the last of the winter snow melted away, she began inviting me for walks. It was always on the weekends when being about the grounds seemed to make more sense than being indoors. It was perhaps our third outing when I found myself noticing things like that the shade of her eyes was more jade than emerald green, and that her thin lips had a lovely rosy tinge though as far as I could tell she didn't wear any cosmetics.

My attention to her appearance increased over the following weeks, the shape of her eyes, the high cheekbones, and the glowing inviting smile she used when we were alone. As I notice more and more things about her and judged them all to be lovely, I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with me.

Minerva McGonagall, headmistress, witch extraordinaire should not have been taking up so much of my time and energy. I should never have lay in bed thinking of ways to make her smile, nerve mind of removing her spectacles and releasing her hair.

I should never have but I did. All the while I didn't know why, but then I never thought of it too much.

It wasn't until I found myself in her personal space, looking into her surprise jade eyes that I finally understood what was happening. It wasn't something concrete. It was more a feeling than anything else, but it was this nameless thing that propelled me forward. It pushed me towards her until my lips brushed over hers.

The kiss was shorter than any I shared with either Viktor or Ron, yet it filled me. I doubt the satisfaction I felt could be topped by anything.

That was until she pulled me back in for a second kiss.

While my kiss had been tentative, Minerva's kiss was powerful, confident. She obviously knew what she was doing yet she didn't overwhelm me. It was slow and I almost felt as if she was trying to convey the right way to do this, as if I was being given a lesson on savoring the press of lips against lips and tongue against tongue. In this as in transfiguration, she was an exceptional teacher.

"Sit down, Hermione." She told me after freeing herself from my arms.

I did as she wanted and waited for her to start a conversation I was sure would end in tears for me, despite her active participation in the kiss.

"I suppose I should not be surprised." Minerva said instead, surprising me as my actions had shocked me even with everything that had led up to them. "I should never have allowed you to spend so much of your time here, with me."

"Why did you?" I asked in honest curiosity.

She chuckled lightly and looked straight at me. "For the same reason you came, I was lonely."

I felt my eyes open wide at her statement, as I had never thought about her reasons for befriending me and in the seven years before had never cared about her state of mind. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"Most students never think about it." She replied as if reading my thoughts. I didn't tell her I was one of them, but I think she knew regardless. "Now, you know."

"Yes."

"I bring it up so that you can see it is only loneliness that has driven you to this."

This time I can't agree with her. "I doubt that." Even though I have not tried to analyze my actions with her, I felt confident in my words.

"I do not, Hermione, you are a lovely young woman but after everything you have been through over the years it is only natural you feel separate from the rest of the students. It is natural that you should seek sanctuary. I just happened to be a handy choice due to our previous relationship."

I shook my head at that, "You were my professor and I your student."

"You still are."

"Not in the same way. Besides my point was that this has nothing to do with our previous relationship and it certainly has nothing to do with loneliness." She was about to object I could tell, so I hastily continued. "It has everything to do with you. With who you are."

"I do not understand." Her expression said as much.

"I did come to you because I was lonely, but I kissed you because I…I have this feelings for you, I can't really explain it except to say that it makes me happy to be with you. I would say it was love but I've never been in love before so I have nothing to compare it to."

Now that really did surprise her. Her eyebrows rose into her hairline and her eyes went wide. Her mouth even dropped open a bit.

"Say something." I probe for fear I had said something wrong. For fear that the word love had scared her away.

She took a deep breath. Her eyebrows lowered once more, her eyes focused on me, and her lips pressed together as if she was thinking things over.

I waited, all the while feeling my palms grow clammy with nerves and my stomach began to fold in on itself.

"I make you happy?"

I nodded. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes, it is. Hermione, you are young, bright, charming, and beautiful and I'm only one of those things. It is not logical that you should feel this way."

I didn't no whether to negate her statement about herself or about my feelings. I opted for the latter. "I've never known feelings to be logical."

"No, neither have I."

Having won that point, I moved on to more important one. "Minerva, you are brilliant, you make me laugh, and while not young you aren't old. I know you will deny this but you are beautiful, though it is understated." I ran my clammy hands over my jeans before reaching out to enfold her hands. "I'm a student and you are the headmistress, but I am not a child and I know what I want. My feelings are true, Minerva, I hope you can at least see that."

Her finger flexed around mine as I finished and I saw that unique-private-smile on her lips. "What exactly are you asking for?"

There seemed to be a shade of acceptance to her tone, and I felt my heart beat faster because of it. "I'm asking for a chance to find out what this is. A chance to name these feelings."

"You are asking a great deal."

"I know, but I think you want to do it. Minerva, please, if you want to do it, even if it's only a tiny part of you…please do it." It wasn't my usual approach, begging, but I knew that I wouldn't win against her logic.

She hesitated for a moment and then for what I think was the first time in her career at Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall broke the rules. "Alright."

"Alright?" I asked wanting to be absolutely clear.

"I will do it. I will give you your chance."

I smiled so widely it hurt my cheeks and tears of joy and relief filled my eyes. "You wouldn't regret it." I assure her.

Minerva laughed at that.

"You wouldn't." I said again.

"I'm sure I will." She told me right before kissing me.

FIN.


End file.
